Be Kind, Rewind

Perhaps it's best that this is in another language, because it saves us from having to read it and, in essence, attempt to understand it. Which is good, because trying to comprehend what it is I'm seeing just visually is complicated enough without having the text to attempt helping make sense of it. Thankfully (or not, I guess, depends on how you feel) I go the extra mile and dug up some information for us about the film. The movie also goes by Ogroff, and is a French slasher film released in 1983. Perhaps the most fascinating facet of the film is how it was devised entirely by the film's director, writer, and actor, Norbert Moutier (credited as N. G. Mount), who was a video rental store proprietor with the hopes of renting it to patrons at his store. Kind of brilliant, if we're being honest. Make your own movie, then rent it to the people who visit your shop. I kind of have to admire that level of deviousness. And to be fair, this isn't inherently "bad" b...

In what appears to be potentially a pun on "Bon Voyage", this movie set out with its initial goal in mind to make you laugh at its title. Not a bad way to grab attention, certainly, but ultimately not something that can keep someone interested for more than the mere chuckle. Either way, this is one of the worst covers I've ever featured, and again because of the artists lack of ability to properly paint a human face that doesn't look like something out of a 5 year olds nightmare. Released in 1976 and also titled "Nightmare Voyage" - a title which makes more sense but is less entertaining - it follows what is meant to be a pleasure cruise as it slowly becomes a nightmare when murder follows murder on a small ship. With tension mounting, passengers and the crew turn on each other in a desperate attempt to identify the killer. Your standard typical mid 70s thriller film, but set on a boat, basically. Not a terrible premise, certainly, but also not the most e...

Yog is, plain and simple, a Kaiju film. It doesn't pretend to be anything else, there's nothing odd about it, it's very straight forward. But that doesn't mean its box art is exempt from being laughed at because WOW does this thing look like crap. Yet another installment in the "We let our child draw this" series, this cover art for Yog is downright awful. Actually titled "Space Amoeba", and only retitled for the American release in 1971, Yog might be one of the few movies I've covered with no decent title whatsoever. I mean, "Space Amoeba" is just as generic as "Yog, Monster From Space", and the fact that they tried to title the film after one singular character when it's full of kick-ass Kaiju creatures really tells you how very little the American film industry knew of foreign film at the time. The film is somewhat notable, however, for it being the final film with special effects work done by Toho special effects studi...

As I was preparing to do my first post - on a film I will do next week titled "A Quiet Place To Kill" - since the end of June before my hiatus, I came across something far more worthwhile. For those in the know, this one may not be one of the more unheard of "gems" (and I use that term extremely loosely) to come across this blog but I felt it warranted a post nonetheless, especially since there's so much to talk about not just in regards to variants but in regards to the opening image itself. So let's talk about Driller Killer. How about we begin with the fact that the name of the movie is Driller Killer, because that alone is rife for the joking. It's good to have onomatopoeic for the sake of catching a publics attention, but it's especially good when they literally rhyme like poetry. And it's not a bad title, to be perfectly honest. That isn't to say it's not ridiculous, because it's absolutely ridiculous, but it also isn't outr...

You know, you'd think after doing this blog as long as I have been that I'd have seen the bottom of the barrel, but every now and then something comes along that proves the barrel is even deeper than we originally thought, and this weeks movie, "Mindstalk", really hammers that point home, I think. "A nightmare come true" , buddy you couldn't be more right. That tagline sums up the feeling I get from laying eyes on this visual abortion as much as anything could. Released by Palace Explosive VHS, an apparently well known company that actually had a fairly unique and cohesive style of box art through their tenure, this thing is anything but unique or cohesive. In fact, this is a rather unique post because for perhaps the first time in the history of this blog, there aren't any variants that I could find. But perhaps that's because it goes by a completely different name altogether, "Murderous Intent". Released in 1985, the film is about ...

You know, any movie that just sticks a generic title on it - whether or not the movie is excellent or terrible - deserves to be mocked. You really couldn't come up with anything better than "The Great Alligator"? I know it's also titled just "Alligator", but that's even more boring. At least with the "great" in there you have the hope he might be an alligator who's also a magician or something. Just the singular addition of that word immediately opens up a whole world of possibilities! What a fantastic idea, actually, an alligator magician. Claims he can make you disappear and then fucking eats you. This is yet another Gorgon release, and I have to say, this is awful. Again, their logo is the best part. The font is so-so and could work in another piece, but here it just...it doesn't do anything for the box design. It doesn't subtract anything either, don't get me wrong. It's absolutely unintrusive, which sometimes can be a g...

Man, what is it with low budget flicks and chopping up then devouring women? I swear to god, how many times have we covered some variant of this concept on this blog thusfar? It's a genre unto itself, at this point, I reckon. Whether we're talking about The Mad Butcher or Crazy Fat Ethel 2 , it's pretty common for cannibalism and murder to go hand in hand in a sub genre all its own, but this is getting ridiculous. At least this time around it's more comedic than just comically bad, which I guess is a step up in the same way that getting punched in the dick is a step up from getting kicked in the dick. One hurts less than the other, I assume. Either way, we have some excellent cover work for a change, despite being tied to a movie called Microwave Massacre which sounds like something a group of college kids would come up with after their 4th joint on a Saturday night. And that isn't an insult, for the record, I think it's hilarious, and the art is tremendous. No...