Be Kind, Rewind

I'm gonna level with you guys right out the gate...this is the funniest fucking cover I've ever seen. That bear doesn't look frightening or intimidating in the slightest, if anything, he looks like he's happy go lucky and waving to goodbye to his new human friends with a big ol' grin on his face as he heads home for the night after their long day of human/bear woodland adventures together. This bear, this fucking bear? Downright ADORABLE, son. So Willard here - that's his name now, we're calling him Willard - is the star of a movie trying to capitalize off the success of Jaws. That would be evident even without the obvious rhyming name and the flat out admittance on the back blurb. And even if Willard was remotely frightening, which he so obviously isn't, is isn't like the guys on the back cover look very scared themselves. They look more mildly upset that they have to wait for this helicopter to land or they aren't getting better reception on th

This is a hard one to be mad about, because, if we're being totally honest...I genuinely kinda love this. It's one of those "so ridiculous it's great" examples, because there's not really anything super outstanding or downright original about it, design wise, but it's also so out there that I can't help but appreciate it on multiple levels that even I, quite frankly, don't fully understand. The cover is what it is, an attractive young woman covered in blood - a visual that a demented horror loving lesbian like myself can't help but adore - and the back has her in short shorts and a hawaiin-esque shirt while brandishing a pistol, ready to smoke anyone who comes near her. Clearly, a woman after my own heart. She might eat that heart, but hey, that's the price you pay for love I guess. Then we've got the screenshots which, aside from the first and third, are pretty spectacular in and of themselves because for once, even outside of context

Erotikill is what happens when horror meets horniness. Nothing goes more hand in hand with death than sex. Let me tell you, nothing gets me hotter than having lesbian sex and then going out to commit murders together. And, for a change, this box isn't actually that bad. It's got an almost vaporwave quality to it, but overall it isn't actually too terrible. It's not fantastic either, by any means, especially the back, but it's alright. You've got this cool dual image of your lead and then your lead as a skull, which is a nice comparison shot. Hell, even the title font is pretty neat, plain as it seems to be. Though, if I have any issues to gripe about with the cover it's that they should've done her whole face as one image instead of this actual mirroring. One half of her face as fleshy, the other as skeletal. That would've been a lot better. And the back, as always plagued by the ever present "multiple out of context screenshots" we've

I love these movies that try to insert horror elements into politics, as if every politician isn't a monster already in one regard or another. This one actually threw me for somewhat of a loop when I was doing research for it because it actually goes by two titles, "American Werewolf In Washington" & "Werewolf Of Washington". Part of me wants to think that maybe the "American Werewolf" part was slapped on it after the release of "American Werewolf In London" to try and ride the success of that film, but it also is hilarious because...well...where the fuck do these people think Washington is? It's in America. Saying "American Werewolf In Washington" almost insinuates that the two are somehow separate. It'd be like if I made a movie titled "Jewish Werewolf In Isreal". And I'm a Jew, I can say that. I am sadly, however, not a werewolf, but hey, a girl can dream. So, what's the film about? Well, unlike Wolf

This woman looks more like she's having fun playfully tugging at her overshirt than she's genuinely annoyed that some creature from the depths of a watery grave is trying to drag her down to him. Oh sure lady, laugh it up, laugh it up until you're down there too, never to be seen or heard from again all because you didn't take river ghouls seriously enough to not act like you were involved in some weird playboy photo shoot when one came at you, intending to make you his prisoner wife. Lady, tut the Coppertone Girl shit and take this seriously. Along with the bizarre tone of the photo itself is the font, which, I have to admit, is pretty cool in and of itself, but really makes this feel more like some sort of weird pseudo horror themed workout video than an actual horror movie proper. Also very cute putting the actress's name, Brooke Adams, right on the water itself. Nothing like good ol' H20 related jokes to liven up a box art. And then, to top it all off, we