Be Kind, Rewind

Not gonna lie, I don't think I would trust anyone in the medical profession named Doctor Blood, regardless of their qualifications. I don't care if he primarily works a hematologist, that's the kind of name that one only acquires if you spend a lifetime removing blood from people who generally aren't conscious and aware that you're removing their blood. That being said, if I needed the blood from somebody against their will, well then I would immediately hire Doctor Blood, because he's clearly the man for the job, as his name insinuates. Actually, goofy name and awful box art aside, this is one of those rare films covered here that actually has a Wikipedia page, which describes the movie as: Doctor Blood's Coffin is a 1961 British horror film produced by George Fowler, and directed by Sidney J. Furie . It stars Kieron Moore , Hazel Court , and Ian Hunter . The story is that of young biochemist Dr Peter Blood (Kieron Moore), who returns to his hometown in Co...

This is a hard one to be mad about, because, if we're being totally honest...I genuinely kinda love this. It's one of those "so ridiculous it's great" examples, because there's not really anything super outstanding or downright original about it, design wise, but it's also so out there that I can't help but appreciate it on multiple levels that even I, quite frankly, don't fully understand. The cover is what it is, an attractive young woman covered in blood - a visual that a demented horror loving lesbian like myself can't help but adore - and the back has her in short shorts and a hawaiin-esque shirt while brandishing a pistol, ready to smoke anyone who comes near her. Clearly, a woman after my own heart. She might eat that heart, but hey, that's the price you pay for love I guess. Then we've got the screenshots which, aside from the first and third, are pretty spectacular in and of themselves because for once, even outside of context ...

This woman looks more like she's having fun playfully tugging at her overshirt than she's genuinely annoyed that some creature from the depths of a watery grave is trying to drag her down to him. Oh sure lady, laugh it up, laugh it up until you're down there too, never to be seen or heard from again all because you didn't take river ghouls seriously enough to not act like you were involved in some weird playboy photo shoot when one came at you, intending to make you his prisoner wife. Lady, tut the Coppertone Girl shit and take this seriously. Along with the bizarre tone of the photo itself is the font, which, I have to admit, is pretty cool in and of itself, but really makes this feel more like some sort of weird pseudo horror themed workout video than an actual horror movie proper. Also very cute putting the actress's name, Brooke Adams, right on the water itself. Nothing like good ol' H20 related jokes to liven up a box art. And then, to top it all off, we...

It feels good to go back to your roots, the place you came from, like with this blog and how it started with just god awful horror movies. And nothing says "god awful horror movie" than a terribly drawn cover and puke green box coloration.  Demon Queen is a movie of such little notariety that Letterboxd has a single sentence for its synopsis. That's what you call a good time. From the screenshots on the back, it's incredibly clear right from the get go that we're dealing with renegade movie makers here. This is clearly not a studio backed project, because, even in 87, when this thing was birthed, with the gruesomeness of horror becoming a mainstream staple of cinema and a somewhat respectable genre finally, studios wouldn't back this sort of thing. Just look at what's there and you'll understand why. It's just a bunch of brutally murdered women, horrors favorite subject to violence, and someone with their face melted off their skull. A pretty cool ...