Be Kind, Rewind

"You expect me to die?!" "No, Mr. Bond Gideon, I expect you to act in this feature." "You... monster! " I have to admit, on the whole, this isn't anywhere near the worst design I've ever seen. It's consistent and it's color coordinated, even if those colors are reminiscent of a decaying kiddie pool full of sunburnt vomit. But hey, the title font isn't terrible, the layout is, boring, yes, but viewable at the least and the artwork isn't wholly atrocious. "Stepsisters", also known as "Hands of Blood" - a way cooler title, if we're being honest - is a self proclaimed thriller released in 1974 directed by a man named Perry Tong, also known for the films "Deadly Assets" (2018) which I'm fairly certain is just a porno and "Slick Silver", also from 1974. There's only one review on IMDB for the film, a review titled appropriately "Nothing Worth Remembering", which I feel pretty m...

I'd like to start off this post by apologizing for having been so absent, but I got very very sick recently, and no, it wasn't because of this VHS cover, although one could claim it makes them ill. I'd like to follow up that apology by apologizing to myself for allowing myself to come back to this blog and doing this post. Because it's the holiday season, I've decided to go ahead and get you all a present, and it's right there, under the tree. Go unwrap it, you little rascal! Do you like what I've gotten you? I know, it's a turd covered in sparkles and glitter, you're welcome! Let's get christmasy, bitch. Christy, subtitled, Santa's First Female Reindeer, is clearly a groundbreaking achievement for the feminist movement, I think we can all agree. Christy doesn't care about your goddamned glass ceilings and gender roles, she's here to pull that fuckin' sled. This box is just...atrocious. There's no other word for it. It...