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Showing posts from August, 2020

Hands Of Steel

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Let's get one thing straight right off the bat. This movies title is WILDLY misleading. Those are NOT hands of steel. That's an ARM of steel. Do you people even know what a fucking hand is ? Why didn't you just call this movie "Arms of Steel"? Because it would've worked, because guess what, guns, which are clearly used heavily in the film, are also called "arms". You would've had a double entendre movie title! But instead, you chose to stick with "hands". Which makes even LESS sense when one considers the blurb on the back cover that states "he is a superstrong half man, half machine cyborg", because guess what, if he's a cyborg, and half machine, more than just his fucking hands are steel. You could've called this thing literally ANYTHING ELSE and it would've been more appropriate and accurate to the movie. And let's not even go into the fact that the blurb also states that this movie takes place in the wildly

The Alien Dead

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    Boy do I have a doozy for you guys this time, folks.   This is a movie called, as the gigantic font taking up half the fucking front cover will tell you, "The Alien Dead". Let's just start with the fact that that's a terrible ridiculous title that really doesn't even remotely suggest what the film is about. Are the aliens dead? Are the aliens simply raising the dead? Really incoherent. And while the font itself is pretty alright, it's the collage box underneath it that really nets this cover a spot on the blog. This thing is just....oh man, it looks bad, guys. It looks like something an 8th grader would make in their graphic design class. But, like, back in the mid 2000s, before everyone was a bona fide graphic design artist like today. The unusual thing about this one is how we get the same familiar "no context collage" that we usually get on the back, but this time it's on the front . Subverting expectations, I see. Then on the back, we'