Driller Killer
As I was preparing to do my first post - on a film I will do next week titled "A Quiet Place To Kill" - since the end of June before my hiatus, I came across something far more worthwhile. For those in the know, this one may not be one of the more unheard of "gems" (and I use that term extremely loosely) to come across this blog but I felt it warranted a post nonetheless, especially since there's so much to talk about not just in regards to variants but in regards to the opening image itself.
So let's talk about Driller Killer.
How about we begin with the fact that the name of the movie is Driller Killer, because that alone is rife for the joking. It's good to have onomatopoeic for the sake of catching a publics attention, but it's especially good when they literally rhyme like poetry. And it's not a bad title, to be perfectly honest. That isn't to say it's not ridiculous, because it's absolutely ridiculous, but it also isn't outright bad. It captures your imagination, and makes you wonder what it is you're about witness, and really that's the goal. So job well done, fellas.
But for once I don't really think the focus is on the artwork here. I mean sure, it's as bad as ever, but there's other things I find absolutely bewildering about this box art, and one of those is the tagline, which reads "THERE ARE THOSE WHO KILL VIOLENTLY". As opposed to who? Those who kill us softly with their song? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't all murder inherently violent? You don't lovingly smother someone with a pillow. I know there's degrees of violence, for instance; yes, drilling into someone's skull is a lot more violent than say smothering them with a pillow, but the act in and of itself is still violent. Words can't just mean whatever you want them to, they have definitions. I can't believe I even have to explain this.
But perhaps even more confusing than the tagline, which is more stupid than it is confusing, is the list of credits at the bottom, which sounds rather normal until you get to Tony Coca-Cola & The Roosters. A fictional band which was made up specifically for this film in particular, which is unfortunate because I was really hoping they were an actual band, I find it quite odd that a fictional band got top star billing on this movie, but I guess it's not that surprising considering what said movie is. Sure, we could sit here and discuss the merits of the artwork, or the lack thereof I suppose, and how the angling and perspective is odd and offputting, but I think we've done that enough at this point. So instead, let's look at a variant!
Next up we have a rather violent piece of cover art. Whereas the first one we saw only contemplated violence, this one is outright violent. This one has a mans face getting shred to death by said drill. That's pretty violent if you ask me. The tagline on this box is "THE BLOOD RUNS IN RIVERS" which sounds more like something the chief of a Native American tribe would say than something you'd hear in a terrible horror movie, and whereas the previous box made sure you knew it was only for 18 or older viewers, this box does tell you that, but also lets you know that it's the "strong uncut version". What had to be cut originally in order to get this movie made? The movie is called "Driller Killer". You'd think you'd know what you're getting into without having to make some edits after the fact. Actually, the tagline runs full on the front cover, but only the first half is repeated on the back. So the actual full length tagline is in fact "THE BLOOD RUNS IN RIVERS AND THE DRILL KEEPS TEARING THROUGH FLESH AND BONE", which if you ask me is just too goddamned long. Taglines are meant to be short and sweet; eye catching, imagination inducing, but not giving much away. Take "Jaws" for instance, whose entire premise hinged on the tagline, "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the ocean". You see that and you wonder, well, why isn't it safe to go back in the ocean? Was it safe before? Now you need to know, so you rent Jaws. This one's also just....I mean I'll say it, it's ugly. It's outright visually disgraceful. The mixture of black, red and white isn't bad if you know how color combinations work, but it doesn't work here. Also this title font is boring, so. I do like, however, that across all the variants they kept the same title image. They all continued to use the font with the "I" in both words being replaced by the drill bit. That's pretty cool. But maybe they did because they knew in the end that's all they really had going for them.
But you want truly gruesome, look at this one. Now instead of an artistic representation of a mans head getting drilled into, you have actual imagery of a mans head getting drilled into. This one's coloring actually works at least, mostly because it's not a hodgepodge of color coded vomit, and they kept one color to each side instead of mashing them all together like some horrible graphic designers nightmare. But this has to be the outright most upsetting of them all simply for the visual on the front. It isn't even artistically inclined, it's literally probably just a shot from the movie. The back is simple enough though, and keeps it clean (I mean, aesthetically speaking, there's still a mans head getting drilled into), and once again they continue to use the same title font, because why fuck with perfection, right? In actuality, the imagery doesn't bother me personally, but the fact that they kept that godawful tagline from the previous one really stokes my ire. Hell, the tagline from the first box was stupid, but at least it wasn't a goddamned run on sentence. At least it made some sort of sense. This one just sounds like some sort of awful prophecy you'd hear in a science fiction novel on another planet. But you know what? Enough about poorly conceived and badly executed cover art. Let's look at the best one from this entire collection, shall we?
THERE WE GO. There's the good guy in this group. This thing, need I even say it, is fucking awesome. I mean, instead of boring old blood red, we're treated to Kool Aid purple and the font of Box Office Hit Video looks like it belongs at the front of Logan's Run. Then we've got a wicked cool rainbow that spans across the whole thing - as if this wasn't eighties enough, someone at the company was like "fuck it, Todd, but a rainbow on it, people love rainbows" - and okay the title font is clunky and boring, and the "I" in Killer is no longer part of the drill bit, but whatever. The painting on the front is also incredibly offputting, and no in a terrible way. Despite this mans limbs matching those of Slender Man, the colors and overall angle of this piece of artwork is beautiful and, for once, I admit, I'd be pretty scared if I saw this guy coming at me with a drill. It's weird how the most generally obtuse and different of the variants winds up being the best, if only because they wind up being the most visually interesting. This thing clearly saw what everyone else was doing and decided to go a completely different direction, and I for one thank them for it.
Driller Killer is notable as one of the Video Nasties that helped keep horror at bay during the 80s and 90s, or at least excessively violent horror, because they were deemed not worthy of any social importance. They're probably right. This movie probably isn't worthy of any social importance.
But I'll be damned if I don't admit that that final box art isn't one of the greatest ever featured on this blog, and I say with upmost genuine sincerity I can muster. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go drill into the heads of the people who made most of these. Don't know that I'll find much in there, as you'd have to be pretty devoid of brains to create the visuals we've looked at today.
But it's what they deserve, really.
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