Miami Horror

I'll give this movie on thing...never before have two words melded so well together besides Miami and Horror.

I mean, they just go hand in hand, right? But honestly guys, there's a lot in this one to dissect, so strap in. First off, let's just...look at this. Let's just take a moment, and take a very long gander at the artwork on the front of this box. You got your standard hero with a gun, balding bad guy in a suit with a gun, hot scantily clad girl, a boat with another guy with a gun, a helicopter chase and then finally some sort of evil alien creature glaring over them all. There's a LOT going on here. That isn't to say it's bad. It's actually pretty sweet, to be honest. It's painted, it's not photos, it's well done, the coloring is good, the layout is good, it's just a lot to take in though. Then you got the classic Miami font, with the "horror" part of the title crumbling, which is a nice touch, and I like the powder blue color choice they went with for it. However that tagline - as usual - is completely bereft of any kind of context or comprehension.

"Unborn...Undead...An Alien Force they could not control!"

What...what does this mean? Is this alluding to like, a woman gave birth to an alien? Is it an alien zombie? Who was unborn? Who's undead? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. On the back we have a rather convoluted sounding plot synopsis, along with your standard fare action screenshots; fire, guns, burly men looking angrily at other burly men. You know the drill. What bothers me most about this box is the fact, more than anything else, that they just used the same tagline on the front and back. Come on guys. I mean, clearly you're devoid of any imagination, considering that tagline was dog shit to begin with, but to reuse it? That's just lazy, man. But that's actually the only real issue I have with it. Otherwise, for the first time in a long time...I don't hate this. This is actually kind of okay.

I was curious, however, who Panther Entertainment was. Now, granted, despite being entrenched in the film industry and community, there's quite a lot of companies I still don't know, either because there's simply a lot out there to begin with, or the fact that a lot of them haven't survived. So I decided to do some digging into Panther Entertainment. They have a pretty cool logo, not gonna lie.Sadly, I couldn't find anything that sounded remotely close to this company. There are other film companies called that, or rather entertainment companies, but that was it. Those said they were founded in 2013, and I'm pretty sure (being 31, I'm fairly confident about this, having lived through it) that VHS wasn't around by then. So I then tried to look the movie up on Wikipedia, only to fail there too. Turns out though there's a pretty cool synthpop band with that name, so it wasn't a total loss.

Overall, not much to discover about this flick, it seems, or the company included in producing it. Except, what's more interesting is the unfortunately named distributor, "Twin Tower Enterprises". That's just...whoo boy. Wow.

So yeah, surprise of surprises, I actually didn't hate this box. Maybe I'm just getting softer with age, maybe it just isn't all that bad, or maybe I'm just off my game. Whatever the reason, it's nice to not fully flat out hate something for a change. 

Maybe, just maybe, the real Miami Horror was inside of us all along.