Fun In Balloon Land

I would apologize for not having a better quality image of the box of this, but I have to research these, so I'm not apologizing for anything. If anyone should apologize to anyone, it should be you apologizing to me for reading this blog and thus creating demand for me to find these stupid movies and then write about them. Don't you know the damage you're doing? There isn't even much to say, because there's not much information, kind of like the last box, but I couldn't let this one slide, because while there might not be a plethora of information available, I have a lot to discuss regarding this whole hot mess, so let's get into it.

First off, this doesn't even qualify as a box image. This is literally just a still from the movie, I'm assuming, blown up (see, see what you're making me do, you're making me make balloon puns, are you fucking proud of yourselves now?) to insufferable quality and then superimposed behind shitty font as the title. There's such little information on this movie, that not only was this the only available "box art" to discuss, but it turns out it is so obscure that for a long time, there were no credited actors or director on the IMDB. Still, we do get a description, which reads as thus:

"Sonny falls asleep while his mom reads him a bedtime story and wakes up in Balloon Land, a magical world filled with giant balloon people and animals."

This is troubling on multiple levels. First of all, who names their child Sonny. I know, I know, Sonny Bono gets away with it, but he's the only one who should. But even beyond that, this vague ass description leads to a whole world of questions I never anticipated I'd ever have to ask. Let's start with the fact that apparently this mother, simply by reading a bedtime story, has the power to transport her child to alternate dimensions where, apparently, balloons are sentient creatures. This is terrifying. I mean, balloon animals would be one thing, but the description specifically states there's balloon PEOPLE too, and that's...that's a...well. Here's a picture I never would've wanted to show anyone, but my hand has been forced.

This is absolutely nightmarish and I am so deeply sorry that we all had to be witness to it. There's a few other things on the wikipedia page that are worth nothing. First of all, this is also apparently a musical, and, maybe this is only funny to me, but the word film is in "quotes". Now, this may be because it seems to only run about 56 minutes, so that wouldn't technically qualify it as a feature film, but I'm going to instead believe that this was a deliberate choice of quotes because the person who had to write this wikipedia page was so offended by this films existence, and thusly their job to curate on it, that they didn't want to give it the satisfaction of being called a film. Also, to be fair, this information was found on the awful movies wiki and not standard wikipedia, so, perhaps my assessment of their reasoning is actually more sound than I thought.

Also something of note from the IMDB is the fact that the supposed production company of this movie was Giant Balloon Parades. Honestly, this is starting to feel balloon propaganda. Perhaps this was made to bolster balloon sales in the 60s or something, I don't know, but the fact that their production company is literally named in sync with the feature really raises some eyebrows. Along with the fact that, aside from the title and the 1965 copyright date, there are no credits whatsoever at the beginning or end of this movie. This is also mind boggling. But perhaps the single most troubling fact on the IMDB is that under the section for "plot keywords", one of them reads "Semi Documentary". The insinuations that this raises are absolutely terrifying.

I really wish I had more box art to work with here, seeing as that's what this blog is supposed to be about, but try as I might, I simply couldn't find anything, and honestly, I'm not even sure that the image I used is something that's "official". It could just be something someone slapped together for the internet. I have no idea. This movie is available in its entirety on youtube, because everything is, if you wish to hurt yourself, but even I wouldn't dare watching it after all I've learned. It feels cursed. It feels like it simply shouldn't exist.

I can tell you one thing about this box though, and that's the reaction you should have to its poor title.

"Fun In Balloon Land?" 

Nobody is having any fucking fun in balloon land. They're all too busy shitting their pants at the concept of sentient balloons.

ADDENDUM: After a bit more research, it turns out a good portion of the movie was in fact simply stock footage of a parade by the company that made this film, which kinda proves my theory on why "film" was in quotation marks and also reiterates my belief that this was nothing more than balloon propaganda, which, if anyone's interested, is a terrific band name. Just send me a royalty check.