Twinsanity
I'm a bit torn, I admit.
On one hand, the name Twinsanity is so stupid that I can't help but love it, on the other, its alternate title, Goodbye Gemini, is so cool that I feel it's the more appropriate title when trying to sell the film to a wider audience. I'm just not sure which I really wanna like more, but for the sake of this post, we'll be calling it Twinsanity, just because this blog is about dumb VHS decisions and it don't get dumber than pun titles like that. Released in 1970, it is a British psychological horror film based on the novel "Ask Agamemnon" (a title which is somehow the worst of all 3 despite being the original) by author Jenni Hall. It's a run of the mill film about a pair of unusually close pseudo incestuous twins who commit a murder, and then deal with the aftermath. Nothing too fancy or original here, to be honest.
But this isn't a review blog. Well, it kinda is, but not of the films. This is a blog about the artwork presented on the VHS box art, and boy howdy is this one a doozy. This isn't even so bad it's funny, this is just plain bad. And I don't even mean the artwork proper, I mean the entire thing. The whole design from start to finish is atrocious, lazy, sloppy, and honestly probably scarier than anything the film proper has to offer if you really get right down to it. This film is apparently so obscure, I actually had trouble tracking down the images presented in this post (of which there are two) and the image at the beginning I cut together myself from three separate images. That's how unknown, and probably rightfully so, this flick actually is.
So, first of all, I'm an artist. I do graphic novels, comic strips, all sorts of things, and as such I've always rallied against ridiculous "rules" that people have placed as constraints on creativity. Things like "show, don't tell" when writing or "don't mix primary colors" when coloring. Honestly throw the rules out the window and do whatever you want. It doesn't matter. That being said, I'm also an enormous hypocrite, and I can tell you right now that coloring this box like a schools cheerleader outfit didn't give it any bonus points in the design department. Blue and yellow? What the actual fuck. The font itself is whatever, bog standard, nothing fancy but nothing awful. But it's the artwork really. Artwork so amazing - they thought - that they would show it to us twice! Front and back! That's right, we don't even get the typical screencap collage on the back, oh no sir, we're gifted double viewings of the wonderful piece of art created for this release.
"Jacki & Julian Have Evil Twins. Each Other."
What does that insinuate, exactly? Is one of them evil, is both of them evil, is one more evil than the other? That's a really vague and honestly confusing statement. The Prism logo is pretty alright, but you know which logo I loved? The one on the back. The "Cinerama" logo. Not only does that sound like a fake company made up for a fictional film studio, but it's pretty apropros in this certain situation, given how absolutely sinful this film truly is in its existence. And I'm just gonna say it, those "evil" versions of themselves in the mirror? Those ain't scary in the least. They look like a hair metal band from the 80s, not murderous incestuous twins, okay? They're not gonna kill someone and then sleep with eachother. They're gonna open for Metallica.
So yeah, overall this thing is an absolute disaster from start to finish. It's not even so generic that it can be glossed over. Those, you would think, would be the worst, but in actuality they're not. At least in those cases, the box design and artwork, while nothing special, is also nothing awful. It's so mundane it lends absolutely nothing to say about it. This sort of thing, however is so bad that I could pick apart, and just did, every single aspect. But as I said, there is actually an alternate title for this film, which is "Goodbye Gemini". Catchier, certainly. Alliterative titles are almost always a pretty good decision. Also the addition of the star sign "Gemini", since it's the twin zodiac. This almost borders on outright clever. Too bad this box art also drops the ball in multiple ways.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Why does this 1970s BRITISH horror film have the most patriotic box design I've ever seen? This box isn't gonna offer me tea and biscuits, this box is gonna call shoot at my dog and then call me a queer. I am a queer woman, so that's not really an insult to me, but still. This box isn't dignified or clever and doesn't have a well to do accent. This box barely passed 4th grade remedial English and thinks Joe Dirt is a cinematic masterpiece. Of course, they can't say the words "cinematic masterpiece" as that has too many syllables, and requires more than 3 brain cells that haven't been destroyed by a dozen years of drinking nothing but Bud Lite, but that's beside the point.
But in all seriousness, the patriotic covering is the worst part. The rest of this box is perfectly fine. We've got a truly better title, realistically from a creative standpoint, some actual screenshots on the back (nothing award winning, mind you, but it's better than the Double Trouble nightmare we were offered above) and a fairly...well...confusing image on the front. I admit, I don't really understand what this art on the front is going for. Why does it look like two well to do white folks from middle america are being threatened by a stereotypical depiction of terrorists?
...oh. Oh wait. Oh no. Suddenly the patriotic design makes a lot more sense. Oh god.
You know what, the box art for Twinsanity now looks like a master class in design compared to this thing. It never dawned on me just how questionable this version truly was.
I feel like I need to donate to a charity to help rebuild the Middle East now.
All in all, these are both awful examples, and yet somehow, our original foray is a better choice than the alternative cover. I can't say whether the film itself is worth watching. It apparently was remembered enough to warrant a limited Blu-Ray release sometime in the recent past, but I don't really care either way. If these box arts are anything to go by, quality wise, I don't think it's worth my time. I'm not saying they're representative by any means, but they also don't fill me with confidence. Also I had a hell of a time trying to find out information about Twinsanity initially because apparently Netflix, in their grand attempt to oversaturate the market with sub standard content, came out with a movie with the exact title Twinsanity in 2018. You know, Netflix, I'm not trying to start trouble here or anything, but in hindsight perhaps "Netflix & Chill" was a warning. When your entire identity can be wrapped up in the joke of "We have content so mediocre you can fuck to it!", perhaps that's not a great look for brand longevity.
Just sayin'.
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