Be Kind, Rewind

Sometimes, while doing research for this blog and covers to feature, I come across something so extremely awful that it just begs me to feature it and this is one of those. And perhaps, at first glance, this doesn't look all that bad. I mean, it looks bad, but not laughably bad, but no, I assure you, by the end of this post, you will understand why this is so bad, because there's so much wrong with this that it's almost impossible to know where to start. First of all, this is a grown ass woman, not a schoolgirl, and secondly she doesn't look particularly terrified of her situation. If anything, she looks mildly amused, like this is a game of musical chairs that got just a bit out of hand. Also that font does not fit this box tonally whatsoever. I get that it looks like a childish font, like something used in a school by a schoolgirl, but that doesn't mean it's what should be used. Things of this nature should have creepy fonts, not something that looks like it...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the video rental store... We're back with yet another monster fish movie, because that is just such a super viable subgenre on the horror world for some reason. And I guess it's not that surprising, in the end. The ocean is endless, vast and practically unsearched, so we don't know what horrors lie in wait, and that's pretty terrifying. That being said, this is one of the more mixed box arts I've covered, because it's both awesome and terrible, somehow. Before we move on, let's just state the obvious...DevilFish is a TERRIBLE title. There's no getting around that, alright. It makes it sound like Satan possessed a giant fish and is now causing havoc off the shore of a beach, and that's just lame, man. Satan's got better things to do. Also, the tagline, while not terrible, is actually pretty bad in this context, as it implies the viewer is the DevilFish, seeing as humans don't sink their teeth int...

Well, I gotta hand it to 'em, they certainly found a title that explains outright what the movie is. I mean, let's face it, it doesn't get much more direct than "The Demon Murder Case." Not only does it specify what kind of court case is being handled here, but who's being arraigned as well. Yessir, really knocked it outta the park with that one. And despite this being a seemingly actual movie, starring Kevin Bacon and Andy Griffith (a more bizarre pairing you could not produce) and produced by Dick Clark Cinema of all companies and people, that doesn't let this box art off the hook. I mean this thing is...wow. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen obviously, not even close in fact to the worst thing featured on this blog thusfar, but it's also not exactly excusable. Who's great idea was it to combine Bacon's face with that of a demon? Because kudos to you, sir or madame, because that's hilarious. That isn't threatening. That ...

You know how there's people who call every single soda a "Coke" or every single Pokemon a "Pikachu"? I feel like Bigfoot is lumped into that group as well. Even though Sasquatch, Yeti, Abominable Snowman and Bigfoot are all 4 different cryptids by definition, it feels like they all just get called Bigfoot no matter what, and frankly I'm sick of it. And I'm sick of this box art. Why's this Yeti look like he's about to score a backboard shattering slam dunk in the Alaskan NBA? I'm also a little confused at the font that looks like it'd be on a hundred year old copy of Pinnochio, but at least it's trying to be unique. It's not just some generally ubiquitous font, so I'll give them that much credit. Actually, I'll also give them credit for sticking the Yeti head on the spine. That's a neat little touch. But that's about where the compliments end, honestly. And it's weird because this isn't a terrible box, but i...