Twice Dead

"Honey, your prom date, Hanged Slightly Overweight Limo Chauffeur, is here!"

Twice Dead, a title that would've worked better for the 2nd movie in a series rather than the first but who's arguing semantics at this point on the blog, is a 1988 directed by Bert Dragin, a man who somehow has simultaneously the best and worst names combined. Not gonna lie, at first glance, I almost thought this was a somewhat educational tape for beginner special effects artists who wanted to learn the trade, thanks to that rather innocuous tagline, "The Ultimate Special Effect". Maybe not the best idea to put it there, and in such goofy font, compared to the wicked cool title font.

So, what is Twice Dead? Well the synopsis reads as such:

The Cates family is thrilled to learn they have inherited the old mansion of the deranged stage actor, Tyler Walker. They arrive to discover that the mansion has turned into a playground for a local street gang. But the gang is not all the Cates children have to worry about as Tyler's ghost makes it known he is not pleased with their intrusion.

Seems pretty cut and dry, honestly. Nothing we haven't seen before, nothing we won't see again. But this VHS box does not say horror to me. It screams comedy. It screams parody. It screams "this was made for 2 bucks cold cash up front at 4am on a Friday before the designer went to their day job". It's hilariously stupid, and I love it because of that. And the best part is...it's not even bad, it's just dumb. It's actually fairly well put together. The little spattering of screenshots on the back is a nice original layout compared to some of the other crap we've seen, and they're good images to boot, and the title font is excellent. The robins egg blue is an odd color choice, certainly, but not a negative one. But my favorite part has to be the image on the front, which looks like a failed magician named The Great Depresso finally hung himself after a lifetime of disappointment in his career.

"And for my final trick, I, The Great Depresso, will make myself...disappear!"

So yeah, say what you want, but this honestly slaps. There's no overly goofy company logo from the folks releasing it, its images are all well framed and have clarity, and overall I think this unironically may be one of the finest outings we've had on this blog thusfar, which really tells you how terrible most of the stuff we regularly look at actually is, doesn't it? But thankfully, there's varieties!

While the first reeks of comedy, this one somehow has managed to attain the stench of a pseudo romantic horror film. Just look at that image on the front and tell me that doesn't look like some pretty boy actor about to make goo goo eyes with your girl, and then stalk her from afar while building a replica of her out of socks in his apartment.

I don't know why, but this ones tone really doesn't match up with the actual plot of the movie to me. This really does feel like a stalker cover, not a ghost movie, and certainly not a movie involving a gang of any kind. It's also not a bad variant, in all honesty. This too is well produced, and - certainly while not nearly as goofy - overall fairly slick, visually. It's definitely got that 80s veneer to it. The font this time around is understandably the same, because why fuck with a good thing, but they changed the color, and usually that bothers me, but I think in this case it was the right decision to make. A red on here would've been too bold, and this chilly ice color really matches up to the color scheme the rest of the box has going for it. Kudos on whoever made that visual decision. This one, sadly, does have some ridiculous overlays on it, what with the huge 18 warning on the back and the logo of the distributor right over his hair, but it's nothing too overwhelmingly distracting on the eyes. So yeah, even the variant is pretty good. For a change, we're seeing some great stuff!

But I've saved possibly the best for last.

Now this thing kicks legitimate ass.

No irony, no hyperbole, no. This thing just genuinely kicks legitimate ass. While the first of the bunch was my personal favorite, simply because of how disconnected it felt, this one is really really cool. The same font, but not as brightly red, more pink tinted this time - which works, surprisingly - and some excellent screenshots on the back make up a pretty good graphic design, but let's be real and admit that what actually makes this thing work is the art on the front.

That art on the front is tremendous, and everything about it is tremendous. The tinted bluish greys, the stance, the shattered glass at all edges of the frame, and the overall angle...yes, this, my friends, is what happens when you get someone truly talented to create a box art for you. This box almost makes me want to watch this movie, which is its job! That's the entire purpose of box art, is to entice the person who was potentially renting it to actually rent it! A job well done, guys. I do wanna add, however, that this is clearly the character of Tyler Walker, from the film, and yet he looks absolutely nothing like the guy on the first cover, which makes that one even better, in my opinion, because now I'm just picturing some guy named, like, John, looking at his watch really late at night while working on it and thinking, "Fuck, this needs to be out the door in like an hour...what do I do? Wait, Greg has a tuxedo! I'll call Greg and tell him to come on over and pick up some rope on the way!"

Like they just shot that photo in John's driveway before they both went to work or something. I love it.

So yeah, Twice Dead actually may be one of the first flicks I've covered that's really worth checking out. I admit, this last box art really makes me want to see the movie, which I can rarely say for any of the covers I've...well...covered, on this blog. In fact, I'd even go so far as to state that it's another rare example of just fantastic art I'd hang on my wall. Really. If this was the film poster, I'd buy that somabitch and hang it somewhere, because it's just that good.

And now, for our finishing act, here is, once again, The Great Depresso!

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I shall shock and amaze you as I, The Great Depresso, finally pull a reason to live out of a hat!"