A Lizard In A Woman's Skin

In todays edition of "awesome font attached to hideous graphic design upchuck", we have everyones favorite familiar classic, "A Lizard In A Woman's Skin", which not only is super direct of what the plot entails, but is just sort of a long title in general.

There's a lot about this visually that's really stupid, whether it's the fact that there's what appears to be a random shot of a woman (presumably our leading lizard lady) topless in bed on the back, of the weird wrap around concept with one human eye on the back and the lizard eye on the front, but my personal favorite has to be the random ass screencap of some dude who looks like the most smug mother fucker in the world just sittin' there on the back of the box. No context. No relation to anything else. Just random smug man screencapture. Perfection. We're also gonna ignore the whole weird box they stuck around the lizard eye with their own company name on it, as if it's part of the design and their company name wasn't in two other places already, and we're also gonna ignore the film rating on the FRONT of the box, which isn't so much stupid as it is just strange because I never see that.

Really, we're gonna ignore a LOT of stuff. Except for the fact that the music is apparently from Ennio Morricone who they somehow got to score this film. What's more hilarious than this is the fact that in parenthesis directly under his name, just to lure you in further, they put "Chariots Of Fire". Apparently, Ennio scored the film Chariots Of Fire, and VIP thought this was something everyone would immediately recognize AND get excited about, which I find just utterly hilarious, especially when you can consider this film came out in 1971 and he'd already scored The Good, The Bad & The Ugly and For A Few Dollars More prior to that. This man has actually had an incredible career, as he went on to score (or at least be involved in the scoring of) The Thing, The Untouchables, and was even doing work on the 2015 Tarantino film "The Hateful Eight." This man in 90 years old, for the record.

And from what I can surmise, they only managed to get him onto this project because he, and the film, are both Italian. As an Italian myself, I find this not only a betrayal to our people, but also just an outright slap in the face.

Or, I would, before I read the Wikipedia entry for this movie, because GOD DAMN. The premise is as follows:

Set in London, the film follows Carol Hammond, the daughter of a respected politician, who experiences a series of vivid, psychedelic nightmares consisting of depraved sex orgies and LSD use. In the dream, she commits a graphic murder and awakes to a real-life criminal investigation into the murder of her neighbor.

Now, had this been the only interesting thing about it, I likely wouldn't be talking about this movie right now, except for the fact that there was apparently a controversial scene in the film where...well, I'll let the Wiki sum it up for me.

The film is perhaps most famous for a scene in which Mrs. Hammond opens the door to a room filled with dogs that are apparently being experimented on. The dogs are cut open with their hearts and guts still pulsating. The scene was so graphic and realistic that several crew members were forced to testify in court to disprove the accusation that real dogs were used in the film. Carlo Rambaldi, a special effects artist, saved Fulci from a two-year prison sentence by presenting the fake dog props in court to a seemingly unconvinced judiciary. This was the first time in film history that an effects artist had to prove his work was not real in a court of law.

This kind of reminds me of the case behind Cannibal Holocaust, where the director was nearly imprisoned because authorities thought his film was real instead of a found footage movie. In their defense, that was basically the first found footage movie ever made, so I suppose it's somewhat understandable, and considering he told the people in it not to do interviews didn't help him.

But again, here we are. You look at this box and you think, "This is a bad b horror/scifi movie". That...doesn't really seem to be the case here? I mean, it seems slightly horrific, it's got dog mutilation, but on the whole I was expecting something of the alien variety or monster variety. Not "woman does drug trips, maybe murders her neighbor". That was the LAST thing I'd expect. And honestly, I'm not even sure if this is the worst box available, because upon a Google search, I then discovered THIS masterpiece.

Now, while this is technically a Blu-Ray box and not a VHS box, so that does disqualify it, and it also appears to possible be another fan/alternate media company version, this thing is hilarious. Like, that first box is just kind of boring and dumb and poorly designed, but this goddamned thing is hilarious. Because the title wasn't specific enough, they then have an image of her as part lizard on this box cover, along with an absolutely ludicrous jumble of words that attempt to describe...something...in this movie. "In the annals of the abnormal, there is no more erotic nightmare than the strange lusts of a lizard in a woman's skin." Like what the FUCK does that EVEN mean?

Either way, this is an example of not only a box that doesn't provide any real concept for the movie it's presenting itself as, but also has a far more interesting production story than the box itself is interesting. I know this isn't supposed to be a film blog, and it's supposed to be about bad graphic design, but god almighty this one, once I learned about it, I simply had to share. I suffered so that you don't have to. Though I will admit, I DO appreciate the fact that the box art straight up tells you "Sleeve Design by Impressions". Good to know who it is directly I'm blaming for this abomination.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to rub my clit on a komodo dragon.