Be Kind, Rewind

Sometimes there comes a description so horrendously milquetoast that you're almost legally required to make fun of it, and this is one of those times. The description on the back of this box is so fucking dull, so mundane, so very goddamn generic that it felt like wheoever wrote it only did so because nobody else would bother to do it. Kind of like when you're in a science glass and you wind up doing the entire groups work. My favorite part of the blurb, however, has to be the segment that's not about the girls who're murdered but more about the residents of this 'affluent' neighborhood, who are now, as it describes "puzzled and frightened by the horrible crime that has been committed", because the qualifier of them being affluent almost makes it seem like the crime itself is less of a concern and more that they want to figure out who to uninvite from this years potluck. The Creepers plot, as described by an IMDB user, is as follows After one schoolgir...

Not gonna lie, I don't think I would trust anyone in the medical profession named Doctor Blood, regardless of their qualifications. I don't care if he primarily works a hematologist, that's the kind of name that one only acquires if you spend a lifetime removing blood from people who generally aren't conscious and aware that you're removing their blood. That being said, if I needed the blood from somebody against their will, well then I would immediately hire Doctor Blood, because he's clearly the man for the job, as his name insinuates. Actually, goofy name and awful box art aside, this is one of those rare films covered here that actually has a Wikipedia page, which describes the movie as: Doctor Blood's Coffin is a 1961 British horror film produced by George Fowler, and directed by Sidney J. Furie . It stars Kieron Moore , Hazel Court , and Ian Hunter . The story is that of young biochemist Dr Peter Blood (Kieron Moore), who returns to his hometown in Co...